Monday, November 13, 2017

Max’s Gyros

Max’s Gyros



First let me describe the gyros 


- as you walk

in (to the sound of an
electronic doorbell)
the first thing that 
hits you is the smell

Cumin, garlic, lamb,
beef, a faint scent 
of cinnamon or allspice

It’s a warm smell
like a stew simmering
all day in a crock pot

Or steaming hot soup
when you have a cold
and your bones ache
from a long work day

It’s a welcoming smell

A comforting smell

Like Family

Like Home

There are only 3 foods
I crave and that
immediately make 
me feel better
no matter what

Vietnamese Pho at Pho Cali
Fried Chicken from Yoder’s
and Max’s Gyros

When I began to 
heal from my spinal
surgery and could
swallow again the
first thing I asked
for was Max’s Gyros

Max was a slight 
man - physically - but
a giant in spirit

- to move his family
from Iran and start
a business in Sarasota, FL
speaks volumes to me
about what it means to
be a man

He spoke English with
a Persian accent

To me he was a magician

A true character

I had been talking 
about gyros at 
work when the 
Frito Lay vendor
spoke up and said,
“If you want a
good gyro try
Max’s."

I asked around
“Oh, yes, Max,.”
he owns that service 
station on Stickney 
Point


I went to the
BP station on 
Bee Ridge with
my wife

It was the wrong one

The clerk said, “Max,”.
yeah, he’s up a 
couple more

“That’s odd,” I replied. “2 BP.”
stations that
close together

“No”, she corrected.
“Max got mad at
BP and tore down 
the sign. He’s an
independent now."

I admired him
before I ever met
him.

Max sold independent
gas at reasonable 
prices and everyone 
knew it… For, Dear 
Reader, every interaction 
I describe here with Max
took place between
infinitesimal spaces
from one fuel customer
to the next. Almost all
seemed to know him
and greeted him by
name.

Cars moved in and out
from his fuel pumps
in a cacophony of
controlled chaos.

But that was Max
- uncompromising
quality and value
and a human touch

- That is something 
the big box corporate
places will never
understand - for 
without that crucial
third ingredient
(The Human Touch)
- They can never tap
into the formula
that Max had.

-Anyway, back to
the Gyros
You saw the hunk
of gyro meat

(A mixture of 
lamb and beef)
Roasting slowly 
on the vertical spit

rotating steadily

hypnotically

as the brown juices
popped out of tiny
geysers and fell, like
golden tears of joy,
to the base of the
spit where they
sizzled and smoked

I’ve had gyro meat
at a lot of places,
mostly it was over-salted, 
full of gristle,
but not Max’s.

He used just enough
spice to season his
meat - and just enough
fat to impart flavor

It’s the perfect balance

Max had a long bread
knife - the kind 
with teeth on the 
bottom and a blunt
rounded tip

When you ordered
a gyro
Max would grab his
knife - survey the 
spinning meat for the
best parts - and 
begin slicing

He would cut the
meat into vertical
strips with the
slightly crunchy
exterior and the 
warm, succulent
interior

After the meat was
sliced Max would
begin constructing
the gyro itself

Now, this wasn’t a 
fast process. 

Max was aware that 
a steady stream 
of customers was
crowding and shuffling
into the cramped
confines of his
store.

(The customers fidgeted
but never seemed to
lose patience - they
were willing to 
wait for quality.)

However, he was not
running around like
a madman either

Max moved like a man
who loved what he did
and was unwilling to
compromise his standards
in the interest of
speed…

But, I digress 
- the Gyros -
Max constructed
the gyros
on warm, thick pita
bread that he
and his wife 
made

On a bed of fresh,
crisp lettuce
with plump, juicy
tomatoes
(All of which he bought
locally)

With a slathering 
of the tangy
yogurt sauce
called tzatziki

and that’s it

Simple, Fresh,
Delicious

Max also had a
cooler filled with
salads - the star 
of which was the feta his wife
made that was
out of this world

They also had
buttery, flaky
spanakopita
And luscious sweets, too

Like Baklava, dripping 
with sensual, golden 
honey

And my personal favorite
Kataifi - with filo 
dough cut into strips
so thin it was
like shredded wheat

with honey and 
pistachios filling
the center

We talked with Max
while we waited. He
was ebullient with
eyes that sparkled
and danced

This was at the height
of the Axis of Evil
Iranian Nuclear
scare - and here 
we were talking
to Max about 
Iran and food
and Chicago and
his children with
whom he was 
smitten. Their 
drawings papered 
the door to his
office - and he 
was so proud of them

and his wife and of 
her yogurt and feta
that she made by
hand.

He was proud of his
family and his heritage
and loved to share
them.

All these things

His Love

His Pride

went into his gyros
and that’s what made…
what makes them
so good.

They are more than
the sum of their parts.


They’re a story…

Max was a storyteller
and food was how 
he told his story.

It’s the story of an
Iranian family who came
to America -
built a business 
-became part of 
the community
- and created a 
home.

That’s what Max’s Gyros
taste like

They taste like
home

An Iranian family
in Sarasota
making great 
Greek food.

“Great” is not a big
enough word
Max’s Gyros are
transcendental

A legacy

His story reflects
the larger American
story

The melting pot

The American Dream

The other day, my wife
Gina stopped at Max’s
when she got off work
to pick up some gyros
When she got home
her eyes were red
as if she’d been crying
And she told me that
Max had passed away
His wife was there
minding the store

She said that Max
had suffered heart
trouble

I was stunned

We sat in silence,
looking at the 
gyros for a time
- and then I took
a bite

And I began to feel better

And I thought about Max
and the role food plays
in our lives

It can bridge cultural
divides

It can bring families
together

And like Max’s Gyros,
it can even tell stories

I think Max would
be happy to know
his story lives on
- Carried by his wife
and children, by 
the people whose 
lives he touched,

And it lives on
with his Gyros which
are still being made 
with love - by the people 
he loved - and shared
with the community
that loved him

I ask you
Is there any
greater legacy
than that?



January 14, 2010

Saturday, September 16, 2017

"Now With Real MiĆ«ht©"


MICRO FICTION #4

"Now With Real MiĆ«ht©"

"PTOOEY!"

Merit spat out a spongey lump from the can of chili she had just opened. With disgust, she picked it up and walked over to the sink. What in Christ's name was it? It had the texture of gristle and bone shards wrapped in raw chicken skin. She ran it under the water and slowly a grey hunk began to take shape. She placed it on a paper towel on the counter next to the can opener and stifled her gag reflex. Out of the corner of her eye she even thought she saw it move for a second and shuddered.

After fishing the can out of the garbage, she sat down and began to examine the label.

"Now With Real MiĆ«ht©"

PACKAGED IN BURGOSLENSKIA.

A cursory look on her computer showed her that Burgoslenskia was a former Soviet satellite republic. She immediately hopped on Travelocity and called for a car service.

The plane touched down at Burgoslenskia National Airport. The architecture was classic Soviet Brutalism. The sky was grey. The people were grey. Just like the "MiĆ«ht©".

After asking several townsfolk and a few government officials, Merit found out that the factory was in the heart of the Petroschank Forest and that it was "off limits".

When she got to the edge of the forest, which was bordered by a rusty fence, she saw several signs that intimated that the forest was an irradiated zone.



Undaunted, Merit pressed on.

She was an experienced hiker and arrived at a clearing a few days later and saw a huge factory. Smoke belched out of several chimney stacks. There was a distinct smell. It smelled like... chili.

Through her binoculars, Merit could see a gargantuan saucer had crash landed near the factory. Wait, that didn't make sense? They must have built the factory after the crash. She had to get a closer look. At dusk she stole down to the edge of the factory and scaled a wall to a skylight that overlooked the factory floor. She saw a gangplank extending from the saucer to a large opening in the warehouse. Two by two, factory workers were carrying humanoid robotic creatures on stretchers out of the craft. On the factory floor itself Merit watched as men used giant can openers to slice through the outer metal shells. Inside were creatures covered in neon green scales. A rope was tied around the feet of each of these aliens and they were lifted off the factory floor and deposited in a great vat of boiling liquid. A conveyor belt ran from the vat and huge lumps of greyish gunk were carried from the vat over to the cannery. The final step was the application of the label "Now With Real MiĆ«ht©".

Merit rolled onto her back and breathed heavilly.

She scratched her scalp.

In her hand was a neon green scale.

Monday, July 17, 2017

The Evolution of Jolly









 

First Draft on Microsoft Paint.


Re-design of "Jolly" Mega-Mart's mascot for my novel: The People's Republic of Retail. Micron 01 - 08 + Sharpie on Strathmore Bristol Vellum - then scanned & cropped on my HP Deskjet 1055.



2nd Draft - on Microsoft Paint.



Voila - Here's "Jolly". In my novel, The People's Republic of Retail, Jolly is a cartoon character Mega-Mart uses in their commercials and as part of their branding - in order to put a "sunny" sheen over their dark practices.


Final Draft.


Variant 1.


Choose Your Own Adventure Variant.


Choose Your Own Adventure Variant Detail.




Saturday, July 15, 2017

From Sarasota to Red Bank and Back!

From Sarasota to Red Bank and Back!


In four days, from July 8 - 11, 2017, we traveled from Sarasota, Florida to Red Bank, New Jersey. Our mission was to see King Crimson play live at the Count Basie Theatre on July 9th and to visit the Comic Book Men at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash and visit some of the Clerks sights in Leonardoville, New Jersey. It was a rousing success.





Tickets Please!

King Crimson played two shows. We caught the first one.

Pat Mastelotto, Gina and Me.


Here we are in front of the Quick Stop where Kevin Smith shot Clerks.


Inside the Quick Stop.


The Circus Clown you can see in Clerks II.


David Byrne performing "Nothing But Flowers" at the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank. This song was featured in Clerks II.


Gina and Mike with the Comic Book Men at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash. We got to be extras in an upcoming episode in Season 7. When you see someone trying to sell a Han Solo Blaster, look for us thumbing through comics in the background.



Coda




Saturday, June 24, 2017

Actors Who Have Played William S. Burroughs

Actors Who Have Played William S. Burroughs


Peter Weller in Naked Lunch (1991)


Dennis Hopper in The Source (1999)


Kiefer Sutherland in Beat (2000)


Viggo Mortenson in On The Road (2012)


Ben Foster in Kill Your Darlings (2013)



J.G. Ballard Playlist

J.G. Ballard Playlist

1. Hawkwind - High Rise
2. The Fall - Industrial Estate
3. The Buggles - Vermilion Sands 
4. Madonna - Drowned World/Substitute
5. Gary Numan - Down In The Park
6. Joy Division - Atrocity Exhibition