By That Great Glory, Driven Wild

By That Great Glory, Driven Wild

"Overcome the Empyrean; hurl
Heaven and Earth out of their places,
That in the Same calamity
Brother and brother, friend and friend,
Family and family,
City and city may contend,
By that great glory driven wild."
- William Butler Yeats from "A Woman Young And Old"

One day, the Wizard,

seeing me as a rag doll

thrown amidst a pile

of furniture - in my father’s

driveway

(set out on the curb)

took out my heart

and consumed it

like Kronos 

- and

replaced my heart

(with nimble fingers)

with a heart
that was
born to fight

spider-like fingers

peeled cords and

attached them to

my brain and my

soul and bypassed

fear so that I might

feel it - yet transcend

 he sent me - hard scrabble

down the road of

bricks - to stand as

a pebble against the

ocean

I bear the scars

of travel - threadbare

and path worn

like a jagged stone

smoothed by the

rush of water

I fought my way

across the states

not content to

stand in patriarchal

footsteps - tied with

matriarchal strings

leaving Arizona tore

my heart in two - the

enchanted axe

my mother’s failings

 six winters in Illinois

and the tinsmith

replaced my heart

with a hollow chest

- ring a ling ding-dong

the snow rusting

against my metal

skin - hardened by

resolve

“I seek passage,”

handing the gold

token to the

ferryman

- turning

to face me -

he answered me

in cyclones and

micro-bursts

 “Seek your path

to the East,

the East,”

he placed a skeletal

hand upon my

shoulder and wept

for the reckoning

to come

I came out

from the murky

darkness,

out of that

deadened place

with an impetus

- a fragment

of an identity

to write - a

writer

I must write

with all the

blood and sand

of me -

I will write

though I might

be torn down

- beaten sometimes

I will rise once

more to slip

the subjugation and

renew the challenge

A bully from the

projects met me

after school to

teach me to fight

stood there - blocking

the sun, said “Run

at me.” he was

bigger, faster

I ran at him

he deftly moved

to one side

grabbing my arm -

tossed me face

first into the

grass

Laughing there

(still blocking the

sun - like Mt.

Parnassus)

said that

was my first lesson

- tried to say

it - when I ran at

him again

this time he

flipped me

- completely -

landed hard

on my back,

the air forced

out of my lungs

by impact

“Determined

little fucker”

he said

I ran at

him again and

was tossed down

again - blood on my

forehead/mixed with sweat

blinded me - temporarily

I followed his

jackal laugh

and ran at him

again

and again

and again

as the sun fell to

dusk

he sat down

upon the grass

catching his breath

as I crawled after

him when he said

“Enough,

enough”

as we laid on our

backs breathing

heavy - he laughed

and then I laughed

he helped me limp

back to my house

to wash the blood

and grass off my

face

He said “you’re going

to do okay.” He knew

that living in the

Government Housing

handicapped you

in the eyes of your

peers - and that you’d

better be damned

determined or one

tough bastard to

find light in the

shadows

his name was Pete

and he knew about

shadows - he lived

in his father’s

guilt - manslaughter

on a bridge

and his own

“hard fighting,

time in jail”

reputation

deep down he

knew he’d never

make it out - but

he saw that I

could. I’ll never

know how many

battles he fought

for me

as I could not

understand - then -

why he told

me to “fuck off”

when there was

a party with

drugs - he didn’t

want me to fall

into the shadows

he believed if I

could shine he

could catch some

of that light

I carry him with

me - as I carry

all those who helped

me or tried to

guide me - they run the

gears in my mind

push the pen to

the page -

wake me

from slumber at

3am to jot down

and idea

and I know

I do not toil

in obscurity